A Pirate Princess and a Vampire Walk in a Bar
by CalmintheChaos
Summary: It's been my dream forever to unite my two favorite characters in an impossible attempt to have them exist in the same fic. This is what it came out to be. Hope you enjoy, as always, please read and review!


A/N: It's been my dream forever to unite my two favorite characters in an impossible attempt to have them exist in the same fic. This is what it came out to be. Hope you enjoy, as always, please read and review!

Disclaimer: I do not own BtVS or SG-1. I do however own a kick ass Spike puppet doll and a Vala action figure…

**A Pirate Princess and a Vampire Walk in a Bar…**

Vala noticed the blond at the end of the bar. He had a nice coat. She missed wearing her leather outfits. Or rather, the attention she received when she wore her leather outfits. Daniel and the Air Force wanted her to fit in, so she wore those drab uniforms and toned down her personality for three years.

Three years.

She couldn't take anymore.

She left the base with her belongings that afternoon. Vala told the general to tell everyone else, she was afraid that long goodbyes would weaken her resolve. But with nowhere to go she had wound up here, at this bar, wherever 'here' was drinking her fifth "frilly-ist drink you have".

Spike stole a glance at the dark beauty at the end of the bar when he ordered his fourth whiskey. She didn't remind him of Buffy. Which was a first. Ever since the Hellmouth, and ever since L.A., he had burned through several petite perky blonds trying to get her out of his head.

No. She wasn't like Buffy, but she had grabbed his attention.

That was a good thing.

A little like Faith, comfortable, even bold, with her sexuality and the power she had over half the men in the bar. Using them for a moment of entertainment before getting back to her drink. Using them for free drinks. Robbing them blind at the pool table. She was Spike's kinda girl.

The night wore on and the bar was beginning to loose it's crowd.

Vala slurped at the last of her drink, disappointed that she could see the bottom. A pout formed on her lips. She hadn't seen in the mirror of the bar the blond sit next to her. Maybe she was finally getting drunk.

Spike handed her his whisky to her, ordered another, and turned to her, "Penny for your thoughts, pet."

Vala shivered just a bit. He accent was very sexy. He had practically _purred_ at her. She took the whiskey and took a drink. She was getting tired and tipsy. Her patented charm was beginning to fade.

For the first time that night she realized, _no one had come to look for her and ask her back._

She blinked quickly before tears could form and sighed, "I could use a vacation".

Spike had noticed her change in attitude. She seemed a bit…defeated. He took a drink from his glass, "From what?"

Vala had begun to feel emotionally numb. Three years and no one cared enough to come and find her. The alcohol made her brain feel a bit fuzzy and the blond stranger next to her made her feel safe somehow. It was a nice feeling.

Vala rested her head on her folded arms and spoke into the bar, "From archaeologists who won't commit, from the same daily routine, from no one understanding me, from people trying to force me to fit in, tired of this," Vala looked up and then gestured wildly with her arms, "whole entire planet".

Spike raised a scarred eyebrow, "What did you say?" Vala pouted, fumbling with a lie but coming out with nothing. He leaned forward and inhaled her scent. She smelled delicious and of someplace …else.

"You're not human, " he breathed her in again, God, her scent was intoxicating. "And you're not demon. So what are you, pet?"

"What?"

"What are you?"

"Did you say …not human?"

"Yeah, I did."

Vala narrowed her eyes at him, "So you're not human either."

He swallowed a bit more of his drink and looked back at her, "Nope."

She gave him a tiny nod and gave a small shrug. "I'm not from earth. I'm from another planet."

Spike tried to hold back a smile, "You don't say?" So maybe the bird was crazy. He had been with a crazy woman before. He finished his drink. The alcohol relaxed him a bit more. He better stop after this next one, motioning to the barkeep, soon he'd be of no use to anyone.

Vala rolled her eyes and took another drink, "You don't believe me? This coming from a guy who asked if I was a demon?"

He turned back to her, "Demons are real. You're looking at one."

Vala began to get frustrated. She had hoped that this sexy Brit would work out, but now he was starting to annoy her. "Now you're just teasing me because you don't believe that I'm an alien. I'm probably the sexiest alien you'll ever see, until someone comes and enslaves your entire planet."

"You don't believe me either."

"You didn't believe me first."

She felt compelled to prove herself. She revealed her zat gun and stunned the perv trying to grab her bum as he headed out the door.

"I _am_ space pirate princess."

Spike shifted into his demon face and growled at the poor bloke's friends as they tried to grab their comrade and stumble out of the bar.

"I'm a souled vampire champion."

Their worlds shifted a bit.

"I believe you," they both said at once. They turned back to their drinks. The barkeeper had closed out their tabs and began turning on the lights, indicating that it was closing time.

"I'm Vala." She hopped off her stool and wobbled a bit. "I'm Spike, " he replied as he reached out to steady her. "How long have you been on earth?" She leaned into him, "Three very long years. How long have you been a demon?" Spike held the door open for her, then lit a cigarette. He took a long drag before resuming his place next to her, "A few hundred". Vala gave him a wide smile as his arm slipped over her shoulders. They continued to walk at an easy pace.

"I could use a vacation."

"So you said."

She looked up at him and admired his chiseled jaw and icy blue eyes. "Vacations are better when someone else comes with you. "

He looked down at her, she was smiling at him again. He'd like to keep her smiling. "I agree."

Vala felt renewed somehow. She had wanted a new beginning, but had grown accustomed to the companionship of a team. Spike seemed like he'd be a perfect partner in crime. So to speak, well, maybe not. Maybe it was time to return to her roots. Her fingers began to itch as images of 'liberated' goods and jewels danced in her head. She had seen a few Earth movies about vampires. They seemed to have great strength and speed. She could work around the sun allergy. Besides, all the best crime happened at night anyway.

"I have a hidden cargo ship the Air Force doesn't know about. Wanna come with me?" Vala's eyes began to sparkle, "We could find treasure, discover new whole new worlds, maybe even save the galaxy, it's not that hard…and maybe get a reward for our trouble."

Spike felt a weight lift off of him. Perhaps this is just what he needed. He had been tied to this earth for too long and had died for it too. A new beginning sounded promising. Especially with a vivacious, fast-talking, sexy new partner in crime. He entwined his fingers with hers.

_Hell, I had saved the earth twice, why not the galaxy too?_


End file.
